Why your parents influenced your money mindset & how to change it

Our belief system is formed when we are about eight years old.  Much of what we believe about money and our money mindset now, stems from our childhood and is taken from our parents and their views and behaviour around money.

Why your parents influenced your money mindset & how to change it

Think back to common phrases they may have said and you heard as you were growing up, about how money was earned and your parents attitudes to spending money.  Does the phrase “money doesn’t grow on trees” sound familiar? Were you praised for progress in education with financial incentives?  This can all have a deep impact on your money mindset as you set up your own business and run your own accounts.

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As a child we absorb our parents thoughts and either take them on as our own or we go completely to the opposite, as an extreme, almost rebel response.  For many it has become the norm to rewarding ourselves with money and material things can affect how we relate to money, especially when it comes to our business.

Taking the decision to change your money mindset

When you decide to focus on your money mindset, you have to make a conscious decision to do it and make it non negotiable that you have to progress.  One of the best ways to do this is with accountability.  Having a support team to help you change your money mindset is super key to committing to it, once you’ve said your goal out loud you will be more determined to reach it.

Change the rhetoric

What we say and re-iterate in our minds will become the norm in our mindset.  Therefore it is important that you change the rhetoric that you say to yourself as your beliefs create your reality.  Negative thought patterns will continue to feed a negative mindset and you need to replace these thoughts and limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs.  It’s all about strengthening your relationship with money moving forward.

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Old beliefs need to be replaced by new stronger beliefs

I run through an exercise with clients where I look at what their current limiting beliefs and ask them about what they want to create about their finances in reality.  For example one key money mindset goal is to achieve the result of thinking about money without coming from a place of anxiety. You can transform your money story and be open to receiving more.  A mindset such as “I’m not good enough at managing my money” or “you were never good with money” from a relative, will negatively effect us in the long run. What we need to do is to take that limiting belief and turn it into a new positive belief; it’s all about changing the tone of voice, the meaning behind the words and also the feeling that the belief gives you.

Let’s look at some old and new beliefs; see if these apply to you;

Old Belief = I am bad with money. I am incapable of saving and I always get myself into debt/financial trouble.

New Belief = I am financially savvy. I track my finances each month and know exactly what I have going in and out and what I have made each month.

Old Belief = Spending a lot of money is frivolous and extravagant. I should always be careful with money and hesitant about spending large sums.

New Belief = Spending a lot of money on the right things for my business is sensible and important for my businesses future growth. The more I am willing to spend on my business, the more my business will grow and bring me money further down the line.

Old Belief = I have never earned over a certain amount therefore I believe I am limited to earning a certain amount. I will never be able to earn £x because that is not possible for people like me.

New Belief = My past is not dictated by my future. From now on, I’m adopting a new attitude to money and am developing my wealth consciousness in a way that will allow me to earn whatever I set out to earn. I’m entering into a business where the only limits to what I am able to earn are those that I place on myself.

These new beliefs are powerful and it will take time for you to truly believe in them.  I recommend to clients that they write these down on post it notes and put them around the house, in the car, in their office.  See them as positive affirmations to read aloud each day in order to embed these new beliefs and have a new more positive money mindset.

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A couple of tips:

Budgets and Cashflows are not just for businesses; taking that first step to sit down and work out your personal spending and then budget it, is huge to do it and open yourself up to being vulnerable about money but it is so so important to get a budget in place.

Don’t fall into the comparison trap; you see other peoples highlight reels, especially on social media.  You only see the surface, they may be struggling just as much as you are – comparison is a real block when it comes to changing your money mindset.

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We don’t discuss money generally as a British society.  By asking ourselves some quick fire questions such as the ones below we can work out our own limiting beliefs and therefore understand them and tackle them; give them a try.  Think about your answers, write down the first thing that comes to mind.  Then think about whether you are truly happy with that answer and is there a better money mindset to have?

I’m afraid if I had more money I would…

In order to have more money I need to…

When I have money I usually…

If I could afford it I would….

People with money are….

I’d have more money if…..

Originally featured in Beauty PR Club:   Rachel Letham is their resident Business Success Coach Expert

Rachel Montague-Ebbs